Update January 29, 2010

So it’s been an interesting couple of months.  My Ellie, as it turns out, has a milk protein allergy.  It’s not like being lactose intolerant…she’s actually not able to process the protein in dairy (and soy) products.   So the very hungry mommy-pillar is now on a dairy and soy free diet.  That’s right- no pizza, ice cream, or sushi for me.  On a positive note, I’m totally skinny again.  Ellie is a much happier kid now that Mommy doesn’t eat fun things anymore.  So I guess it’s worth it.

We’re currently in the middle of trying to teach Ellie to fall asleep on her own.  When she was a newborn, we got into the habit of bouncing her to sleep.  When she was a mere six and a half pounds, that was no big deal.  However, she’s now 17 pounds, and my back is starting to hurt.  A lot.  Enter sleep training.  It’s about as much fun as my c-section was.  Yup, that good.

I don’t want you to think that mommyhood is all work and no play.  Ellie is amazing…she smiles and laughs, rolls over, puts everything in her mouth (hooray for teething!), and is practically sitting up by herself.  She is the love of my life.  There’s no one else I’d give up ice cream for…that is love.  And that’s parenthood in a nutshell.

Clean up on aisle 12 November 18, 2009

I took Ellie to the grocery store for the first time today.  It’s a nervewracking thing.  You have to think about all sorts of things like: How close can I park to the cart return? How do I get the carseat on the cart?  Will my kid melt down in the produce aisle?  The answers are: Park next to the cart return, maneuver the carseat so it locks into the top part of the cart, and no, Ellie likes the produce aisle just fine.

However, I was so nervous and focused on her the whole time we were in the store that I was staring at her and crashed the cart into the sprinkles display.  Hundreds of rainbow sprinkles everywhere.  I think I actually said “FUCK” out loud, though I’m a bit too traumatized to remember.  Ellie wasn’t phased, she just kept trying to get her hand in her mouth.  I picked up the sprinkles as best as I could, and darted away to try to finish the rest of my shopping.  I was half way across the store when I heard the words “Clean up on Aisle 12″, and I cringed, knowing that I was cleanup on aisle 12 girl.  Mommy=epic FAIL.  And for the record, I HATE rainbow sprinkles.

 

The long nap November 10, 2009

Ellie has taken to having a long nap in the afternoons.  Her morning naps are pretty short, just long enough for me to eat something and check my email.  But her afternoon nap when the stars align is a good couple of hours.  I’m amazed at how much I can accomplish during that time.  Today, for instance, I’ve made dinner, folded two loads of laundry, cleaned a couple of rooms, while talking on the phone.  Then I ate a yogurt and am writing this post.  Of course, I’ve checked on her.  Don’t want you to think I’m a bad mom or something.

Now this is probably the time that I should be “sleeping when the baby sleeps”.  And if I’m sleep deprived enough, I actually do.  But one of the things that’s tough about being home is that you don’t always feel like a productive member of society.  I wouldn’t trade my time at home for anything, but it’s a huge change from the very structured world of getting up to an alarm clock, and going to work.  So when I have the energy to accomplish things, I really enjoy the mundane household tasks.  In fact, I race around, trying to do them quickly and avoiding the noisy ones (vacuuming) so that I can keep going.  I’m a bit frenetic about it, sort of like that episode of Saved by the Bell when Jessie Spano takes those uppers to study for a test.  I’m enjoying the productivity frenzy right now, but am fearing the “I’m So Excited” moment.  (Saved by the Bell fans know exactly what I’m talking about!)  I think that’s where the baby comes in.  Before I can really crash and have that moment, she’ll be up and needing her mommy.  And that’s a beautiful thing.

A rabid emu November 10, 2009

Ellie has a cold.  While this is no big deal for adults, baby colds are pretty much devastating.  They can’t breathe, so they don’t eat well or sleep well, making for a somewhat unhappy baby, which makes for sleep deprived parents.  All I want to do is make it better for her, because she’s just so small and pathetic and sad.

Last night at 4:30 am, after Mike had finished “irrigating” her nose so she could eat, I was nursing Ellie and cuddling her.  I said to her, “Ellie, Mommy would do anything to make you feel better.  I mean it.  I’d fight an emu.”  Half asleep, Mike chimed in, “A rabid emu.  Mommy would fight a rabid emu for you, Ellie.”  And that pretty much sums up parenting (and the effects of sleep deprivation) in a nutshell.

The very hungry mommy-pillar November 7, 2009

So I’m nursing, which has resulted in me having an appetite that at times rivals that of a professional wrestler.  Despite the tummy rumblings, I’ve lost most of my preggo weight- just 5 pounds to go!  Thanks be to Ellie, my little human tapeworm.

One of the books that Ellie got as a gift is called “The Very Hungry Caterpillar”.  It’s all about this baby caterpillar who gets very hungry (obvs), and each day, progressively eats more and more until he basically gets really full and big and puts himself in a cocoon for a couple of weeks, and emerges as a beautiful butterfly.  The story goes something like…On Wednesday, he eats three oranges, but he was still hungry.  On Thursday, he ast through four strawberries, but he was still hungry.  It all results with him totally engorging himself on sausage, pizza, ice cream, an emu leg (I’m making that up), until he falls into a food coma.

Sometimes I feel like that caterpillar.  On Saturday, I ate six turkey slices, one bagel, two tomato slices, and one apple, but I was still hungry.  So I ate a bowl of coco puffs.  But I was still hungry.  So I contemplated eating a yogurt (or some ice cream, which sounded better).  And I wondered if I too would emerge a beautiful butterfly at the end of this, looking like Heidi Klum at the Victoria’s Secret show a mere six weeks after giving birth.  It’s been thirteen weeks so far, and while I’ve definitely made lots of progress, I don’t think I’ll be modeling lingerie on television any time soon.  I guess that I should just keep eating.  And that is the circular logic of the very hungry sleep deprived mommy-pillar.

It’s been a while November 7, 2009

My Ellie turned three months this week.  I can’t believe the time is going by so fast.  She is cooing and smiling and generally being adorable (most of the time, anyway).  I’m going to make an effort to blog a bit more consistently, since I feel like I’ve been able to document the phases of my life pretty well over the past several years.  I’ve shared homeowner tales, my political adventures, pregnancy stories, and now it’s time for the mommy blog to officially begin.

What can I tell you about the past couple of months?  Well, Ellie finally showed up on August 5th, after a very difficult delivery and eventual c-section.  She looks just like Mike (other than the full head of black hair, which is all me).  She weighed 6 pounds, 10 ounces, and has doubled her weight since then, because my kid loves to eat.  The past three months have been about recovering from major abdominal surgery, battling a persistent case of thrush, and obsessively reading books about sleep (sometimes actually keeping me awake).  While that doesn’t sound all that great (and sometimes it definitely hasn’t been), Ellie is delicious.  They make babies really cute, so I guess all the physical and emotional angst that you endure seems to be forgotten when you look at that little face.  She is a beautiful kid, and I’m not saying that just because I’m her mom.  She’s seriously a baby rock star.

So now that we’re caught up on my “fourth trimester”, I can begin this blog in earnest, and hopefully continue to entertain the dozen or so people who stumble upon this page, usually not on purpose.  At the very least, I can entertain myself while Ellie naps.  Let the mommy blog begin!

I have a baby, and she is CUTE. September 20, 2009

I can’t believe that I haven’t written in so long…life has been so incredibly busy since my little pumpkin was born.  Eliana (we call her Ellie) is beautiful, exhausting, and all consuming.  All I can manage these days is an occasional quippy status update on facebook.  My life these days revolves around feeding, changing, (who knew that I’d look at poop like an episode of CSI???) cuddling, and trying to figure out the enigma that is my daughter.

I will try to update more when I have a chance…life is busy these days, but I’m going to make an effort to blog a bit more when I have a free moment.

Still going August 4, 2009

Now about 10 days overdue.  However, it looks like I’m being admitted to the hospital tomorrow, and induced on Thursday.  We just found that out this morning, and my brain is totally haywire now.  I’m nervous and excited, and still hoping this kid will come out on her own.

I didn’t really want to be induced or have any sort of medical intervention, but at this point, I guess we’ve waited a while.  The doctors at the practice I go to tend to be pretty conservative and cautious, and they had planned to induce me on Friday, but then Friday was booked up, so they bumped me ahead a day.  I think that they don’t do inductions over the weekend, and that they didn’t want me to go past the weekend, because then I’d be two weeks past due.

As nervous as I am, I just can’t wait to meet my baby girl already.  I can’t wait to hold her and snuggle her, and I can’t wait to be a mom.  Soon…!

Day 8 August 2, 2009

Yesterday, I went for a walk, pulled weeds in the garden, and cleaned my house.  STILL no baby.  This kid just does not want to come out.  Apparently, the womb is a happy, cozy place.  REAL happy and cozy.  I knew I shouldn’t have decorated it so nicely.

I’m pretty uncomfortable today and didn’t get a ton of sleep last night, since the baby was kicking until 3 am.  Silly, frisky little baby.  I’m headed back to the doctor tomorrow for the same tests I took on Thursday, at which point the doctor will make a decision, which will likely result with me getting induced sometime this week.  I think that I will feel better once I have an end date in sight.  Other than the physical discomfort of still being pregnant, not knowing when this is going to end is agonizing for both Mike and me.  I never expected to go this late- while it’s certainly not uncommon, I just didn’t picture me going late.  Oh well.  One of the many surprises of pregnancy, and I’m sure not even close to being the last surprise with what’s to come with the baby.

1 week past due August 1, 2009

Is there a fee I have to pay, like when I forget to return my library books?  Or do my aching, swollen feet and hands, cramping back, enormous belly, and high level of frustration count as enough of a fee?  I am not feeling particularly funny this morning; I’m now at a point of physical and emotional discomfort.  I don’t feel well, and am not really enjoying much of anything right now.  Everything at this point is just a distraction, and the longer this goes on, the harder it gets.  I try to make plans to do things- go for a walk, clean, beach, movies, meals, etc. but nothing is really fun anymore.  As much as I’m afraid of the pain of childbirth, I’m seriously starting to lose it during this waiting game.  Misskowitz, please come out already!!!!!!

UPDATE: Today is a rough day.  I have melted down three times already out of discomfort/frustration/etc.  Poor Mike- he is really being a trooper through this.  We went for a walk, which I think was a good thing mentally for me.  I have to remember that as much discomfort as I feel right now (putting sneakers on my swollen feet hurts), once I am doing something, my mood does lift a little.  I also have been running my hands under cold water, which seems to make the pain a bit better.  I am trying to just do whatever feels good at this point- good being a relative term.  So right now, eating ice cream for lunch and lying down afterward feels good.  I think I’m going to try to do something else in a bit- yard work, house cleaning, something to re-distract me once my brain goes haywire again, which it is sure to.

As we were heading out for our walk, we ran into my (lovely, well-intentioned) neighbor, who said, “I was going to loan you my grandson for the day.  Maybe get that instinct going.”  Great, because in this state, I need to question my physical/maternal instincts.  Because I haven’t cried, thinking something is wrong with me on my own yet- today.  I need virtual strangers to bring that up.  Much appreciated.

I smiled and brushed it off, and went for my walk.  As I was moving away, I heard her say to her daughter (mother of said grandson), “Yeah, Shoshana’s late.”  Because I don’t feel like enough of a freak show at 41 weeks pregnant.  When we returned, the (lovely, well-intentioned neighbor was still outside.  “No luck?” she asked.  “Apparently not”, I answered, keeping my swollen fists at my side, because I don’t really want to punch anyone in the face.  But really?  Does it LOOK like I’ve had any luck?????  “You should keep walking”, she said.  Again, I remained in control of my swollen fists, because it’s nice to be in control of SOMETHING.  The truth is, I’ve walked like crazy this whole pregnancy.  I’ve made a real effort not to gain too much weight, and to try to be as healthy as possible, while still enjoying food.  At 41 weeks, when I’m overdue, swollen, and cannot control what is happening with my body, all the well-intentioned remarks, advice, and cliches pretty much make want to hide and not talk to anyone until I deliver this baby  If you ever encounter someone in this situation, please do not say stupid things to them.  All you need to say is, “I’m sorry, this must be frustrating and uncomfortable.  Can I do anything?”  Telling me that I should walk more, jump up and down, eat spicy foods, that I calculated my due date wrong (which for the record, I DIDN’T, so shut up!!!)- none of that is the least bit helpful to me.  It might make YOU feel better to say it, but no offense, I don’t really care about making you feel better at this point.  I’m the one who’s been carrying around a kid for almost 10 months now.  So, please, please, PLEASE, just SHUT UP.  Thank you.